Truth Telling Tuesdays

Truth Telling Tuesdays is here (and yes I just created it) 

Lately, I have been posting pictures of my life but not sharing my life. 

I have been reflecting on this, as I know and believe, for myself to have the freedom to grow my business and my impact, sharing myself is key. Sharing myself is THE key. And yet I still havnt been. Some of that is due to fear and of that fear, a portion of that goes to what you will think of me. 

Gulp. Yes. If I am being honest, I want your approval. I wish I didnt but its true. I want to be accepted and loved buttt I also don’t want to do that with any screens or masks or disillusions. So here I am.What will follow is a portion of a list I started last week, and continue to add to. I feel more and more free as the list keeps growing. 

Perhaps you will see yourself in some of these, perhaps you will hit the unfollow button or feel called to share a truth of your own. 

Whatever it evokes, I am ready for it. I trust you are too. Even as my heart beats faster and faster. Because this one, it isn’t for you. This post is for me. 

Its important to me that I be clear that I don’t believe everyone has to do this, and depending on circumstances this wouldnt be the most loving thing one could do. But for me, right now, it is. 

Here are some of my (perceived) biggest/darkest/scariest inner experiences(that I am learning to love myself for and through.)

To also want to be clear. I am well. Really really well and this is absolutely not an invitation to offer advice but rather an invitation to see me at a deeper level, through my fear and into *some* of my truths. Tuesdays just got a little more interesting for me. 

Ahh courage. How you have always bred so much freedom for me. My deepest of gratitudes to you:

-I have stretch marks and no baby and I have shamed myself for that in the past. No more. I have come to love my bodies ability to hold me through all of my growth. 

-I once told a boy, who asked what they were, that my stretch marks were dog scratches. I can laugh at the absurdity of that now and send love love to the girl who wasn’t ready to claim her skin.....................

Phewf. Thats all that fits. Til next Tuesday️

#truthhurtsuntilitdoesnt #fromshametovulnerabilitytoconnection

#fearisfuel 

About Time

I know this is the right exact time for me to be writing this line. This very line of the perfect fucking timing, even if a part of me a teeny tiny part of me is saying “about time” You see I have been sitting on this next step since August of 2016 when I left my “comfortable” job. At that time I was quite literally sick of my job and was actually on sick leave when I finally gave into the fact that my body would no longer let me enter into a space that was sucking me dry. I had felt the energy shift in the building for quite some time and it shifted even more for me when I really opened up my heart and mind to the leader I have always been and that I had found my home within a company called Isagenix. At that time, in August of 2016 I was in the best physical condition I had been since my childhood, my side hussle was starting to pay me more than my job and well, it was time to take the leap with the support of my partner to step into all of who I am an claim my spot on the map of wisdom keepers who lead with integrity, heart and joyful fun as they pour belief like honey over our souls. But well…that meant I had to really be what I claimed to be, what I knew myself to be and it brought up a lot of junk. Loving wonderful, well to do junk but junk all the same. So I pulled back again from my mission and my purpose (hello-you are your purpose, its not what you do its who you are-but I didn’t know that then) and I went deep again, like I did in 2013 when I really learned was courage was and I did a complete 180 to my life, ending a 7 year relationship 4 months before the wedding. If I can do that, I think I can do anything really but I forget that measuring stick sometimes and truthfully pull out societys measuring stick at times, even well I say screw the boxes lets burn them, I climb into them at the same time. You see, even now, 6 years into my personal awareness journey, I don’t have it figured out. I used to be someone who spoke from the depths of her pain as a lesson in finding the light, then I spoke of light as a result of transforming and moving through the pain, but I didnt share the whole picture on either end. Now here I stand, well sit actually typing into a laptop that is a home computer now since I have needed to buy a new battery for 4 years now, and I want to show all of me. The light, the dark the inbetween. Not because I think I am special and have something you will never hear anyone else say. But for the exact opposite reason. Because if I can share my truth in a way that touches you, then you can share your truth in a way that touches me and someone else and so on in so forth. In a world where are are “connected” all the time, I don’t believe we are seen. And I want to see you. I get so inspired by the (gag I wanted to write light workers of the world but I don’t think that’s even the right title to strive for now.) I get inspired by the truth tellers of the world, those standing in their truth despite the discomfort because a larger part of them knows and trusts that a part of their journey is to be seen. So here I am choosing to be seen. Even as I hide behind this keyboard I know that I will be adding this to my blog area of my website, something I have been intending to add to for a long long time. At the exact right now. I don’t know what this means really, and at the same time I have so many downloads coming to me as to what exactly this means but all I know is that its time to share, consistently. Not in and out, weeks at a time and then silence, but consistently because then you will witness and experience the full circle that is me. The light the dark the heavy the free the joy the sorrow the pain and the pure the muddy and the clear. All of me because well. I can and its about damn time. Please also note I am preapoligising moving forward for my grammar errors and lack of pretty pictures to go with this. I need to remove all of the barriers that prevent me from doing this and that includes finding a picture so its more appealing to your eyes. I am here to appeal to your heart. xoxoMarjolaine Also I realize a lot of this is all over the map but I am doing this journal style where I let it go and I let it flow, perhaps they will eventually line up cohesively or not

All that matters is NOW

January 1st was not our one chance to get 2018 "right."

It is absolutely positively not the measuring stick in which we need to measure if we are living up to and into our greatness.

All we have is right now.

This moment.

Are you honouring your truth?
Are you being compassionate with yourself? Are you taking an action towards the destination you have decided (with clarity) is aligned for you?

Right now, is all we have.

Breathe into that.

Again and again and again.

Embrace the now.

Lean in and choose yourself.

In the moment.

Over and over and over again.

We are not broken. We have not failed.

We are the magicians of our life.

Magic is in the right now.

Can you feel it?

 

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Home is Where:

 

Joy is.

Home is where you are.

All of you.

YUP. Every single bit of you, right from your crown to your ground. Your very being. Joy is.

Take a breath. Can you hear it? Feel it? Can you claim it as your own?

If you believe that Joy is your birth right...If you believe that Joy is your true innate knowing, your resting heart rate if you will....If you believe that Joy is limitless and available to all.

Welcome home.

I have created this space especially for you. 

To be clear, I understand that one can be so sure of Joy in the same moment that pain and anguish seem to be here to stay.

But you know.

You know that pain and anguish are just visitors.

Powerful, transformative, messengers but they are visitors nonetheless.

So you wait. You ride the waves, you try our best to love yourself through it all and you look. Eyes and heart wide open. You look for Joy wherever you can. You feel for Joy whenever you can. And have gratitude for knowing so innately that Joy is somewhere on this side of the rainbow.

Joy is yours to claim.

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